On & On

Inane pointless chatter

Listen to them natter

On and on and fucking on

I wish they were all gone

 

Surviving all this prattle

Is a daily bloody battle

I feel my intellect devolve

As mind is forced to be involved

 

They have a right to make their noises

They have a right to use their voices

And though it doesn’t make me proud

My anger grows toward this crowd

 

Judging all their uttered nonsense

Is effecting my fragile self conscious

Just because I’m uninterested

Does that mean they should be detested

 

Quiet seething needing a break

From all the noise this group does make

On and on and fucking on

Yet am I the one that’s in the wrong

 

I certainly didn’t choose to be here

Having all ‘these’ people so near

This judgmental me, I do detest

But these irritants need to give it a rest

 

Do they ever question why I’m so quiet

Does it matter to them I prefer to be private

Am I far too quick to judge and berate

Is it just me, that’s filled up with hate

 

Try as I might it doesn’t feel right

Attempting to join in with all of their shite

It’s not like they’d actually care anyway

They tend to make fun of everything I say

 

Brave to speak and quickly dismissed

Snide back talk is it really worth the risk

Forced to hear all their gossipy news

Forced to endure all their illogical views

 

Is it jealously, I’m not part of the crowd

Is it anger, because I’ve not been allowed

On and on and fucking on

This judgmental crown, is all mine to don

 

Inane pointless chatter

Why can’t I find the skill to natter

On and on and fucking on

There’s part of me longs to belong

 

 

Cameron D Hamilton 09/02/2017

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15 thoughts on “On & On

    1. It’s a crazy juxtaposed internal dialogue. Most of us question what it means of us. other just don’t care. I think what im trying to say is the judgemental nature is always one being insecure whether it’s in who they are or not being considered popular.
      They happen over and over, they’re unstoppable but we have the power to stop them corrupting and presenting the good, difficult as that may be.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, definitely. Sometimes I think the ones that have experienced the wrong end of judgment are the ones that can see it for what it is. We can’t change everyone, but we continue to try. Sorry about that typo in my previous comment. I completely missed it. 😆

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ah don’t worry about typos. they’re now part of my life in comments. I write on laptop but blog manage on my phone. Either my fingers are too fat or predictive text is a bitch but every time I try to spell the it cones out thr. It’s incredibly annoying.

          I certainly feel that as a victim to judgement past present and future just due to being eccentric me, I do see so much more even when the animosity isn’t being directed at me. I still like to believe I could save people but I know the likely result is me getting hurt. Good hearts, bad world 😔

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Oh man, I understand what you mean. Often my kindness is exploited against me. And then I’m a bad guy if I have to refuse a request I know I cannot fulfill. From my past abuse, I’ve learned to recognize signs and trust my instincts when it comes to interacting with people. So far, I sense no warning bells on your behalf and I’m actually glad you reached out to me. Otherwise, I may not have noticed the kind of person you are. 😊

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Kindness is definitely something that gets exploited far too much. I’ve kept myself away from people for that very reason. I don’t look for reward just simply not to be abused.
              I’m a very shy person and get intimidated easily by life. The contrast is once I’m comfortable I literally don’t shut up. It’s a weird juxtaposition of character, the anti social attention seeker.
              The only warning bell you should have is im dangerous to myself. Ahaha 😄

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Haha, I hope you don’t mean that literally. You shouldn’t be a danger to yourself. From the looks of things, correct me if I’m wrong here, but I think you feel more comfortable talking openly with me. That’s a great compliment in and of itself. Everyone should feel like they can be themselves here. 😊

                Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you thank you! I’ve been moving around meeting new people being involved in various team dynamics and I got the feeling of the classroom again. I got a little inspired by my best forgotten school days and it spiralled into this.
      It’s a great topic to cover! Then again most days I talk nothing but shit so I can’t really judge 😄

      Like

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