I Saw You

I always see you, long before, you see me walking by

But I can’t come over and say hello and I know you’re asking why

It makes me feel quite panicked and more than a little bit stressed

So I have to I play this silly game of socially anxious chess

 

 

With the fashion choices I adopt, it’s guaranteed that you’ll see me

But its more important you don’t realise that you’ve already been seen

I don’t want you think I’m ignoring you, even if that’s my actual plan

I need to protect your feelings, as much as I possibly can

 

 

I saw you and I really hope that you didn’t take any offence

This is something I have to do, my socially anxious defence

I don’t handle the unexpected well; I always need time to prepare

If I could change I gladly would, all this awkwardness isn’t fair

 

I can’t say that I’m particularly fond, of all my tactical deceit

Averting my gaze, so our eyes, can’t accidentally meet

Earphones in, music loud, just incase you call my name

I’m socially impaired, trust me, you are not to blame

 

 

I’ve always lacked, the necessary skills, to start a conversation

I get terrified and anxious, by attempts at friendly communication

It’s not that I don’t want to stop and talk, I literally don’t know how

Family, friend, casual acquaintance, my anxieties just won’t allow

 

 

I saw you and immediately began to walk the other way

You’ll tell me later that you saw me acting weird the other day

It’s not that I don’t like you, but stopping fills me full of dread

I’ll say I didn’t see you and save you from the burdens in my head

 

 

 

 

Cameron D Hamilton 02/09/2016


 

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17 thoughts on “I Saw You

  1. VictoryInTrouble

    This is really good. I can hear your voice in my head when I read even if I don’t have a recording with it. 🙂 I am like this sometimes. Depends on who it is. There are lots of people I try to avoid. I’m sure everyone is guilty of averting their eyes sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I thought about doing a recording but this week has been all introspective and I want the readings to be saved seen as I only have so much storage left. I hear people too when I read their work…its pretty weird but you get the cadance right that way.

      I’m terrible for this and it’s not done in a bad way I just feel really self conscious like I’ve been caught doing something bad, like I’m not meant to be outside. It’s very odd but so am I 😄

      Really glad you liked it, I’ll try and make up for the lack of audio next week 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. VictoryInTrouble

        I need to catch up on your blog previously. Yeah, the panic and feeling like you’ve been caught doing something bad is the anxiety of the situation. When I feel anxious it’s a feeling like I’ve forgotten something. I hate it.
        Don’t worry about the audio. Like I said, I already heard you in my head. 😄

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I wouldn’t rush on it, it’s not exactly happy reading 😋
          I’ve really fallen behind with reading it’s been a weird week of busy/unmotivated swings.
          Oh I get that forgotten feeling all the tine but I figured out a few years ago that it’s my sanity I’ve forgotten so it’s all okay now 😄
          Well as long as your just using my voice for my poetry and not your ‘personal projects’ 😉 At least not without telling me!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. VictoryInTrouble

            Oh, Cameron, are you being naughty with me? 😉 Bad!
            I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed this week and haven’t gotten to everything I want to. But I want to catch up. Not everything has to be happy. Your sanity…yes, I lost that years and years ago. 😀

            Liked by 1 person

            1. …maybe 😋 You love it 😉

              I think it’s going to be another few days before I get to catch up. I need to over produce my own stuff so I’m fully scheduled for the month to cover my travel plans.

              I don’t know when I lost my sanity or whether it was ever there to begin with 🙃

              Liked by 1 person

              1. VictoryInTrouble

                Ha ha! You do know me… 😉

                No need to worry on catching up with me. Just grab the rail when you’re ready to ride again. I hope your trip planning is going well.

                Liked by 1 person

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