Be Someone

The following poem is part of an unintended trilogy examining the despairing mind as it struggles to claw its way back into the fight to live.  The three poems were not intended to be part of a series but appear to have been written at different points of my own struggles with purpose over the past few months.  Part three is themed Transformation.

For the other poems in this trilogy you can click on the following links;

Part One: Desperation Part Two: Inspiration

Be Somebody

I’d like to make a difference

Affect a life

But one that’s not family

They see me regardless

Yet it doesn’t make me feel

Anything close to useful

I want to do more

Than enrich the lives

And worlds

Of the people

I was born to connect with

I want to get away

Away from obligatory interest

Take a grand step

Into the much larger world

And be noticed there

To make a difference

No matter how small

And be someone

To somebody

 

 

Not for fame or renown

Not chasing attention

Contributing and proving

I

Am worth knowing

Something simple

Like finding a job

Where you’re valued

A friend

Who likes having you around

A child

Who depend on your care

Those three words

“I love you”

To be someone

To someone else

But I wonder

Is that too much to aim for

 

 

As I’m surrounded by trinkets

With no sign of substance

Solitary pleasures

That distract from being alone

I’m guilty of losing myself

To despair

But still dreaming

I can be someone

An aspirational aim

That’s always there

Yet I’ve really nothing

That tangible to show

 

 

It’s hard to be someone

It’s hard to chase that dream

When you perceive yourself as

Undervalued and disrespected

When you tell yourself

You’re unloved

And unknowable

It bewilders self perception

It keeps you rooted

In lethargic despair

Would it be better

To let the dreams face

To accept these believes

That I have nothing to offer

That to be someone

Is for other people

Those who’re better deserving

And accept my own fate

Of being no-one

 

 

No

I have as much right as anyone

To make a mark

To be someone

It’s not happened yet

There’s no denying that

For now it’s a dream

Not a decadent one

There’s no lust for wealth

For power

To rise above the masses

And be revered as their better

No

It’s a simple ache to make a difference

In the life of someone

Who isn’t obligated to care

Despite family members claims

That they love having me there

Its not that im ungrateful

For their consistent affection

But I don’t really help me discover

Who I’m meant to be

 

 

I want to be someone

I want to connect

I’m not looking to be remembered

Or cast a legacy

I’d just quite like to be seen

While in here

Sharing the world

With everyone else

Be loved while I’m here

Be useful while I’m here

Have an actual purpose

While I’m here

 

 

It might take more than one attempt

But I’ll keep going till I get it right

I might not know what I want

I might not know what I need

I might not even know

How to get there

But one fact is for sure

I can be

I must be

I will be

Someone

Somehow

Someday

 

 

Cameron D Hamilton 01/09/2016


 

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Be Someone

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s