Outfox The Farmer

 

 

 

This is the tale of a sly young fox

Part of the infiltration trade

A big fan of thinking outside the box

When it comes to a chicken coop raid

 

 

The farmer had become a formidable foe

There was a need to try some new foxy tricks

That sly young fox armed with rather unique ammo

Threw some strange new ideas into the mix

 

 

We could enlist the help of the badgers

To dig tunnels, that’ll run under the farm

With their help we’d be able to capture

All the chickens we want, without any harm

 

It was agreed to be a brilliant idea

But the farmer was far too clever

Paying the badgers off with leftover pizza

Next time they’d have to do better

 

 

We could dye our fur dark, pretend that we’re dogs

In order to get closer to the hens

Undercover we’ll sneak past the farms watchdogs

Leading the delicious birds back to our den

 

 

Sadly the young fox forgot one vital fact

The watchdogs, find intruders, by their smell

As the foxes arrived, the dogs would attack

So they turned tail and ran away like hell

 

 

We could steal the farmers’ beloved tractor

And take it, for a late night joy ride

When he chases, to avoid, a disaster

We’ll grab every chicken we can find

 

Securing the tractor late at night

The foxes drove off with glee

They didn’t get far, try as they might

For the tractor was chained up to a tree

 

 

We could hide inside a bale of hay

Like a farmyard Trojan horse

When the famers’ finished with his day

We’ll jump out and take those hens by force

 

 

This would prove to be a rather crafty plot

And it just missed out on being a success

That ambitious sly young fox, had stupidly forgot

The farmers’ pitchfork and all the danger it possessed

 

 

We could borrow some of the farmers’ clothes

Dress up and pretend to be human

Three foxes on shoulders, no-one will know

Leading the hens away in the confusion

 

 

It was a strange but rather cunning concept

That the farmer saw straight through

Asking the costumed foxes, for some help with a project

They scarpered, when they saw, that the farmer knew

 

 

We could use a mirror and redirect the sunlight

Setting fires to all the many bales of hay

Hoping to give the farmer a very nasty fright

He’ll ignore the chickens for the remainder of the day

 

 

Excited by the idea, all the foxes gathered

But the plot didn’t get a chance to even work

Setting up the mirror in haste, it fell down and shattered

Those silly foxes don’t need any more bad luck

 

 

We could use an archer’s bow and make a zip line

From the trees straight down to the coop

Robin Hood was a fox, we can follow his design

Be a stealthy airborne infiltration troop

 

 

An extremely bizarre idea, but definitely worth a chance

That sly young fox would be flying through the air

When the farmer saw the line, he cut it in advance

Getting the best of him, was looking to be rare

 

 

Exhausted the foxes den had finally had enough

Not one attack had brought them any success

The den demanded an end to all the crazy stuff

The ridiculous plots were causing too much stress

 

 

We could, the young fox cried, but no one would listen

All the whimsical concepts had lost their ability to entrance

Pleading desperately with the den, begging to be forgiven

They agreed to give the young fox one last chance

 

 

Inspired but all out of all devious thoughts

That sly young fox, had only one idea left

No matter what was said, it must be a foolproof plot

That will result in an astounding chicken theft

 

 

We could still outfox, that oh so clever farmer

There’s an old idea that might be worth a try

Go right back to basics, don’t make it any harder

A traditional midnight raid can’t go awry

 

 

After so many failed plans of the ridiculous

The farmer won’t expect something modest

A showcase of far less ambitiousness

Will be sure to truly astonish

 

 

We could stealthily sneak up to the hen house

Under the cover of darkness tonight

Crafty and careful, as quiet as a mouse

No evidence we were there till daylight

 

 

The plan conceived was simple and generic

The foxes den was inspired once again

The wild ideas of the past gave this plan merit

Now the farmer was distracted to the mundane

 

 

We’ll capture every one of those delicious chickens

In a raid that’ll go down in history

With all our sly skills we’ll accomplish this daring mission

It’s destined to be a resounding victory

 

 

The farmer was expecting more absurdity

But all the ridiculous had been replaced with the banal

An uncomplicated concept that was pulled off perfectly

Those clever foxes had thrown a devious curve ball

 

 

Oh those foxes were smarter than they had previously appeared

As they ran off with every chicken in sight

The farmer woke to a nightmare that he had always feared

A successful surgical strike overnight

 

 

And so was the tale of a sly young fox

With a crafty and somewhat deranged imagination

Though most ideas would fail and tended to flummox

It would end with a feast of a celebration

fox in hen house

 

 

Cameron D Hamilton 18/08/2016


 

Cover Image Credit:  Sierra kay Art

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17 thoughts on “Outfox The Farmer

    1. Why thank you so very much. I adore this piece of nonsense. Took me a few attempts to get the reading right and in still not 100% pleased but it’s so much fun!
      All I had were the two echos of an intro and conclusion the rest is utter madness 😄

      Liked by 1 person

  1. VictoryInTrouble

    I love it! You read so naturally, it’s really fun to listen. This one was like a bedtime story(except it’s not bedtime, lol). Reminds me a little of The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Have you seen that movie?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well it did take a few attempts. I swear to you it was those last 3 stanzas. So annoying to get that far in and start again. I had fun though.
      I’m really so glad you enjoyed it, I really tried to go for a really dramatic reading.
      I’ve never seen the movie it’s one I’ve always wanted to but it came out at a weird time for me. I’ll have to revisit this soon. I sort of know the story from the book when I was a kid but that was a very very VERY long time ago 😄

      Liked by 1 person

      1. VictoryInTrouble

        Ha ha, you can’t be that old. You look young.
        It was very dramatic and well done. Great job!
        I would have been unhappy to start over if I’d gotten that far! But I’m glad you did. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well I really wanted to get it right and I was determined to see it through!
          So very glad you enjoyed it all

          As for old, im probably exaggerating just feeling unaccomplished at my age. Need to keep writing and maybe something will stick 😄

          Liked by 1 person

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