I Sell Comics



I really couldn’t care if Batman and Superman have a fight
I really don’t have a preference between flight and x-ray sight
Everyday it’s the same inane questions, it’s no wonder I’m in a huff
I know that I sell comics, but I’m really not into this stuff


Comics and statues all over the shop, the walls are bright with colour
I understand that it’s popular, but I don’t understand the culture
Just because I don’t get it, doesn’t make me a literature snob
I know that I sell comics, but for me it’s just a job


Don’t ask for a recommendation, I’ll just point to the most expensive book
Know what you want before you get here, you can keep that disappointed look
Are you actually going to buy anything, or just stand there and annoy me
I know that I sell comics, but I don’t know my Marvel from DC


Staring at them with vacant eyes, finding it hard to reply
Mouth agape, their passionate words confuse and mystify
I don’t know how to talk to them; I don’t know how to relate
I know that I sell comics, but I’d sell my soul if I could escape


Your pretentious fanboy opinions have got me on the edge of my seat
Okay I’m being sarcastic, I’ve no interested in the nonsense you excrete
Can you go away, scram, vamoose, wouldn’t you prefer to be at home
I know that I sell comics, but please just leave me alone


Repeating the same inane questions, is giving me work related stress
I realise that you love this nonsense; I can tell by the way you dress
Do you really think that I’m impressed, by the t-shirts that you wear?
I know that I sell comics, but that doesn’t mean I care


You’re always annoyingly ‘super’ excited, to visit this geeky store
but can you kindly keep the noise down as you enthusiastically explore
The children who visit are well behaved; it’s the adults that always cause trouble
I know that I sell comics, but I’m not here to break up your scuffles


On Wednesdays all the new books arrive, followed by all the fanatics
The constant retail traffic is great but the shoppers are way too dramatic
Would you mind calming down a bit, I’m afraid you’re going to explode
I know that I sell comics; just try and keep yourself  composed


I know enough to make a sale, but I refuse to learn any more
My day’s already consumed by all the geeky things you adore
I’m surrounded by the ‘four color’ books; even in sleep I’m never free
I know that I sell comics; you really don’t have to remind me


After all the time working here you’d think I’d have fallen under its spell
Can I tell you a little secret, retail’s my personal form of hell
Don’t expect me to be nice when you walk through my door
I know that I sell comics but I don’t want to any more


Cameron D Hamilton 20/07/2016


This particular poem is influenced by the podcast Tell ‘em Steve Dave.  Co-host Walter Flanagan (the manager of Comic Book store Jay and Silent Bobs Secret Stash) wrote the lyrics and TESD ran a contest for aspiring artists to put the words to music.  It was through this contest I discovered and fell in love with Courage My Love, who of course went on to win the contest.  Co-host Bryan Johnson has made his hatred for retail very clear over the course of the podcasts run, so as a tribute to the boys at TESD this poem happened.


If there are any fellow TESD Army Ants out there reading this post, please get in touch, I’d love to meet other listeners, as of posting this I’ve yet to meet even one.


For anyone else who doesn’t know the song or the band, I hope you enjoy it.


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