Tails of Rabbitopolous

Chapter Eight


As with swordplay before, the Whites and their magical delusions would use another trope of magic performances. This time they were inspired by another creature.  Graced with plumes of white, much like their own snowy fur, the wise and peaceful dove would spark their insane imaginations.  Spending a great deal of time in close proximity the two creatures would learn a lot about each other.  The doves would quickly learn that despite being exposed to the same captivity, their grace and wisdom allowed them survive entrapment in the entertainment world.  The rabbits however would be driven to insanity, falling to delusions that they were magical beings.  As a result the two creatures would drift apart but not before the rabbits would develop and unhealthy fascination with the reproductive process of doves and all birds alike.  To the eyes of the Whites, they were mystical objects containing the fragility of life.  Beautifully bespeckled in various colours, with many sizes to choose from, they birthed majestic creatures so different than rabbits were used to.  It would be the eggs themselves rather than the birds that came from them that captured and held the Whites attention.

As their interest grew from curiosity of the unknown to fascination, creativity was peaked with a malicious desire.  They surmised that with the great numbers of avian creatures in the world it would be easy to run into eggs in their daily life and use them as tools of terror.  This led to problems, as arguments blossomed between the bunnies over the best way to use eggs as weapons.  They could be another missile to be used in the battlefield, or used to attract avian aggression.  It had been observed by the Whites that a mother’s defence of her shelled offspring was filled with a fearless rage, that may be manipulated.  Procuring eggs and redistributing them near a rivals burrow or hutch could attract winged vengeance, which could tear through the ranks.  There was even a suggestion from the ‘mad scientists’ amongst the Whites.  Something incomprehensible was said about letting them rot and harvesting the sulphurous compounds to drive rabbits from their homes, or as a potential poison.  With insanity rampant in the community of White rabbits, to self title a group as ‘mad’ really makes them stand out.  Suffice to say, this idea went nowhere as those sensitive noses didn’t lend themselves to foul odours.  All these ideas would be put the rest as one rabbit stood above all others and made a seminal suggestion, the world didn’t even know it was looking for.

With a little bit of theatrical paint work the humble chicken egg, the most plentiful and commonly available egg, could be turned form dull to dramatic.  By making them stand out and attract attention they could be used as rather intriguing traps.  Much like the rabbit holes, they could create suspicion and paranoia amongst the rival factions and as seen with the carrots, if they perceived a threat, they may start to gather these flamboyantly dangerous eggs to safeguard against their use.  If their rivals did gather large clutches of these eggs it could come in rather useful for what was planned next.  In the history of the war nothing wrought as much unapologetic carnage as how these eggs were used…at least mankind had the excuse of being ignorant lummoxes.  Although the story of how a ‘mad’ white rabbit could take an egg, make it explode and endanger a species is quite the interesting tale.

It began of course in the world of show business, where the white rabbits of old encountered wonders beyond their wildest imagination.  In time this wide eyed wonder turned to curiosity and bred a devious desire to try it themselves.  While mans attention was elsewhere these curious rabbits would spend their time reverse engineering the simplest of tricks, with an eye to mischief and mayhem.  The power and panache of pyrotechnics proved particularly promising, if not problematic.  As they experimented they discovered a multitude of uses, from stunning theatrics to thunderous savagery.  Dusts and powders all holding new and surprising spectacles, yet nothing was more impressive than the explosive reaction itself.  With bombastic bangs and bold rumbling booms the weaponsied potential these chemical reactions showed was staggering, exciting the White maniacal spirit.  The rabbits would sneak into dark storage rooms, lighting them with flickers and flashes from their trials.  Away from the gaze of their ‘mystically’ creative captors, they trained in secret to understand mans magical methods.  Trials being trials they were fraught with mistakes.  Blackened and singed but undeterred, the bunnies practice progressed, night after night.  With all the ‘accidents’ from the trails gone awry, it became harder and harder to hide their nightly mischief from their magical mentors.  With fur discoloured or in peculiar patches any semi intelligent observer would become alarmed.  Luckily for the white rabbits man was not especially clever, unluckily the men were image conscious.  Those rabbits that didn’t keep their fur a pristine snowy white would be shipped off from the wonderful world of show.  Man may not have known how the rabbits got into such a dishevelled state or even imagine what they were doing but the business of show does prefer its ‘props’ to be glitzy not grubby, so that’s really all that mattered.  They really should have paid more attention but alas, mans intellect could never really be trusted.  Their inattention to detail allowed the rabbits to run wild, to disastrous effect.

If you play with fire you’re going to get burned, if you play with pyrotechnics…well you see where this is going.  Explosions in the night would scatter rabbits and scorch stages.  Credited to mechanical malfunctions, man would never suspect their rabbits, but grew increasing concerned about these midnight mysteries.  Fires would close theatres and end acts.  Many rabbits would be cast aside as the magicians struggled to save their careers.  Afraid to lose their academic advantage the blundering bunnies pressed on, taking more risks to perfect the pyrotechnical prowess.  Afraid to lose their livelihood the manic magicians went big.  They would make their acts more extravagant to recapture the audience’s applause and try to reclaim their fame.  It was this human lust for riches and attention that distracted them to greater errors, the consequences of which the bunnies would feel.  As the Whites kept studying they got better at hiding the signs of their mischief, careful to avoid being singed or staining their delicate fur.  As long as man saw his rabbits were white and pristine, they wouldn’t look too closely at what the rabbits may be hiding.  Professional magicians will tell you if you don’t clean properly after playing with combustible materials it’s probably not a good idea to be near anything that sparks.  Only the darkest of hearts would enjoy witnessing a great fur-ball of fire cast out from a top hat.  Those risks were known to the Whites but when you’re guided by delusions of magical purpose, you tend to ignore risks.  In a bizarre turn of events, feuds between magicians would break out because of the rabbit’s ridiculous antics, thus ending the rabbit’s time to practice with fiery consequences.

After the first rabbit scorched out in flames a man with the title of magician believed his rivals were to blame.  Competition for audiences was fierce amongst the lower levels of the magic circle, all wanting and wishing to take their acts to headline.  This came amid the rabbits mischievous antics at night, the magic community was rattled by the unexplained fires and explosive damage that raged through theatres and acts alike.  In another display of man’s inhumanity, those poor white rabbits already victims to mental abuse would suffer physical horrors, becoming pawns in a magicians feud.  The magic men would steal their rival’s rabbits, keeping them for their own, selling them to pet stores or to the dreaded animal testers.  They’d pocket money from the sales to finance their race to the top whilst damaging rival acts, driving them out of work and out of rabbits as well.  It was a good plan, but a very human one.  The consequences would fall on rabbits as man, led by stupidity and by acting without thought, would take things just that little bit too far.  Idiotically inspired by the first fur-ball of fire, man would sprinkle the unaware bunnies in a coat of flammable flakes or drip them in alcoholic accelerants.  More shock than awe as rabbits would fly in flames, a long eared flaming torch leaving the stage with a scorch.  The more civilised of men would step in to stop the madness and cruelty against innocent creatures.  The ethical disregard and horrors of show business and not forgetting animal testing, had taken their toll on the more delicate of men.  The white rabbit’s warped sentiment however was irreversible.  They had absorbed all the tortures inflicted upon them and developed a new perspective on life that guided them back to war.  Yet they’d never forget the pain man wrought.  So with that the rabbit’s studies would be over.  It was now time to put their skills to practice.  Their grand re-emergence to the war with its confusing tactics was just the start.

Birds and eggs, magicians and pyrotechnics, the fascination the Whites had for both drove their desires to combine them.  Of course it was never the intended plan but insanity rarely follows a plan.  The use of explosives was meant to be a bold display of power, but in a ‘mad’ genius turn of events, an egg could now become a dangerous weapon.  Psychologically creating confusion, crippling confidence and seeding distrust in what should be a harmless object.  Then there was the physical devastation and havoc of an actual explosion.  This would be the greatest shift in power since the war began.  There had never been such flagrant violence than when the white flurry of madness made their move to secure their future.  Their only misstep was a bad habit learned from their magical masters.  They were show-offs to the end, quite a wonderful tool for entertainment, but foolish and misplaced in war.  This grandiose nature adopted from their captors would attract man to their activities and when humanity stomps its way into the world of the battling bunnies, trouble always follows.  This time would be no different and despite the shift in power, humanities presence would once more turn the war on its head.


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